The notion of having a family has been so deeply entrenched in me since early childhood. As an only child and a first-generation immigrant, having a large family has always been a dream of mine. My family is Chinese. They lived through the Cultural Revolution and are survivors of famine. After I was born, they immigrated to Canada in hopes of a better future for me and the next generation. As a child, I grew up in Canada watching these large, happy families with white picket fences on television with big hopes that one day it will be me.

When I met my husband Kris, nine years ago, one serendipitous night through mutual friends, we both instantly knew that we had something special. My husband came to Canada for an internship with just a backpack, suitcase, and $2,000 in his pocket. The first night we met, he said that he knew that he would never be going back to Poland and that his life would be with me. The years flew by and each year, felt like our first. Endless laughter, deep discussions, and plans for our future. We knew the love that we have for one another would endure all odds.

These past four years, infertility has truly tested those odds. It has been a roller coaster of emotions. We went through 3 IUIs and 2 IVFs, all of which have failed. Infertility has been physically hard on my body and our mental strength. The costs of going through all these procedures have also been substantial, especially when we don’t have medical insurance and are paying out of pocket.

We were told by our fertility doctor that I have unexplained infertility. According to her charts, I appear to be in good health with an average ovarian reserve. I am regularly exercising, meditating, and eating strictly organic food. Yet despite all of my efforts, I have not been able to conceive. I have tried Chinese traditional medicine, acupuncture, meditation, therapy, and naturopathy. I have even traveled to Montreal to see a fertility specialist. Still, I haven’t conceived or found answers.

During this whole process, I had to regularly go in for ultrasound tests, bloodwork and was on a multitude of hormone injections and suppositories. After my first sonohysterogram, I felt dizzy, uncomfortable, and unwell. On the drive home, I vomited in the car and proceeded to continue vomiting once home. From all these procedures, I’ve joked that I’m now a human pin cushion.

When I was going through IVF, I had to inject myself 3-4 times a day, while also doing suppositories. This was especially challenging because I was not working from home. The side effects were quite severe and I was being monitored for ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome since I was extremely bloated and rapidly gaining weight. The most devastating part of all of this was finding out all of my efforts didn’t yield any results.

When you’re going through infertility, you feel like you’re drowning. You’re desperately trying to swim against the current, hoping to reach your goal. It’s a rough journey and you’re all alone in the darkness of despair. Fertility Friends Foundation is that beacon of hope, throwing you a lifeline. That means everything to us. To give us hope and the possibility of life. We are eternally grateful to be granted this opportunity and be given another chance. Thank you.