We have been married for almost 20 years and have been trying to start a family for over 10 years. When we first started to try to have a baby, we figured that we were young and it would take no time at all and be super easy. Well, that didn’t work out the way we planned and it just wasn’t working. Month after month of negative pregnancy tests turned into years of negative pregnancy tests. At the time doing something like IVF was not financially possible so we continued to try making a baby naturally. We did the charting, the temperatures, ovulation kits, drinking pomegranate juice and really anything else that people try when they start to get worried. Michelle really struggled with feeling like her body was failing her and her mental health really suffered with it.
Then covid hit and it seemed like the whole world shut down and that delayed us getting into a fertility clinic and getting some help. During covid, Michelle also found out that she had some health concerns that would make carrying a pregnancy difficult and more high risk. This was devastating to Michelle since it meant she wouldn’t be able to carry a pregnancy herself. She needed to take some time to really grieve the loss of not being able to carry her own child, we both did actually. Once we both felt ready then we started to explore surrogacy in Canada as an option and got ourselves into a fertility clinic that was well versed with surrogacy. We also opted to pursue egg donation after a talk with our Dr. as there could be potential for the hormones with the IVF to aggravate Michelle’s medical condition. The Dr. also felt that using donor eggs would give us the best odds.
Michelle’s best friend offered to carry for us and it finally seemed like things were going to happen for us. We started to save any money that we could as this whole process is so very expensive. While we were trying to save for this we found out that the friend had developed an autoimmune condition and that increased the chances of risk during pregnancy. We all decided that her health and her life were too important and that she would now take on the role of supportive Auntie instead. Although it broke everyone’s heart to have to change up the plans, it was the right call.
It felt like we were back to square one and having to find a surrogate all over again. We researched and talked with many different surrogacy agencies and eventually found one that seemed to match our values and signed up with them. Through that agency we were able to match with an amazing woman and she chose us to be her intended parents. We have been taking our time to really get to know each other and build a relationship that is based on trust, communication and honesty. We have been told that sometimes the hardest part of a surrogacy journey is actually matching with a surrogate and we are so grateful that we have connected with such an amazing person.
Currently in our fertility journey, we are working with an egg donor to create embryos and are hoping to do a transfer in the fall. It has taken us many years, heartache, financial burden and loss to finally be able to get to this point in our journey but in the end it will all be worth it once we have finally created our little family. To us, our child will ALWAYS be worth it!